


Stale Wine (WIP)

by Otherwise_Uncolonized



Series: Works In Progress [1]
Category: Frozen (2013), Tangled (2010)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Romance, Arguing, Attempted Seduction, Banter, Bitterness, Cynicism, Depression, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Manipulation, Enemy Lovers, Evil Elsa (Disney), Explicit Language, F/M, Family Secrets, Hans (Disney) Being an Asshole, Internal Conflict, Jealousy, Lingerie, Love Triangles, Love/Hate, Loving Marriage, Moving In Together, Moving Out, Not a Love Story, Open to Interpretation, Pining, Post-Divorce, Psychopaths In Love, Revenge, Revenge Sex, Sarcasm, Self-Hatred, Shameless Smut, Smoking, Unconventional Format, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Lust, Violent Thoughts, Weddings, Why Did I Write This?, Wicked References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 00:05:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13492659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Otherwise_Uncolonized/pseuds/Otherwise_Uncolonized
Summary: ·´¯`·.¸♥¸.·´¯`·"First impressions are important, Darling. Your cousin doesn't need to know you're a whore."





	Stale Wine (WIP)

 

* * *

[Thoughtless](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IjKLQeVYEw) [by Doris Day](LYRICS%20URL) 3:11

[As Time Goes By](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxMeu34o_jQ) [by Frank Sinatra](LYRICS%20URL) 3:09

[Code by Layouttesst](http://layouttesst.livejournal.com/profile)

* * *

**[ 유/웃]**

* * *

_"You are so thoughtless of me,"_ Doris Day purrs through the speakers of a blue [Rolls Royce](https://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/24/590x/Rolls-Royce-Sweptail-810539.jpg) as her listener smiles at his window with crossed legs and braided fingers. _"You say things that make me so blue~..."_

The passenger's gloved hand dips inside his breast pocket and extracts an engagement ring. Its sapphire head glints in his lap.

_"You show it in so many little things you do, or is that just your way of telling me we're through~?"_

Willow trees walk behind bars of sunlight that blond his eyelashes between flashes of amber, goldening his skin and hair.

 _"You're much too much, on my mind._ _I guess that you just shouldn't be~_ _"_

He squints against the dappled sunglow when his car stops in front of filigreed gates. The white mansion standing on his face exhales crows and sparrows from the rooftop.

 _"And maybe if I thought less of you, Baby~..._ _"_

Movement pulls the mansion off his car's window. Through the opening gates the vehicle goes, barreling down the cobbled driveway and then winding around the fountain sculpture of [Hades violating Persephone](https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/9001105_f520.jpg). Their intertwined bodies fill his eye as he appraises the artistic violence.

_"You wouldn't be so thoughtless of me~"_

Approaching the Royce's window is a middle-aged man whose potbellied reflection eats the glass. Its door is unlatched by the driver before the morbid bulge can blind his passenger entirely, and then out steps two leather loafers. White trousers flutter above the loafers, coordinating with the [white jacket, pink shirt, and blue tie](https://qph.ec.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-6c840db44c52a8d97ec20e0b97af9e1a-c) that lean forward. Their wearer stands tall against the sun's pulsating rays.

"Good morning, Mr. Westergaard."

Hans Westergaard smiles like a pastor. “Good morning to you as well, Kai." He aims his wonder at the property's highest windows. "I take it that Elsa is quite done for, considering the circumstances.”

“Quite, sir."

Two paneled doors yawn open, inviting daylight into the home. A tall shadow squired by a fat one bobs across the sunlit floor.

"Ms. Arendelle is expecting you in the White Room, sir.”

The marbled foyer, which walls Victorian tastes, echoes the sounds of pacing shoes and clinking glass. Housemaids are palling furniture with the help of menservants who have a hand in covering chandeliers. Hans and Kai pass through them as white sheets float down over console tables and upholstered chairs.

“Thank you for your many kindnesses, Kai. I imagine that it must be burdensome to wait on Elsa without compensation during all this...” 

“I promised Ms. Arendelle that I would stay by her side until the very end, sir.”

"I must say that that's rather noble of your character. You're a better confidant than I've ever been to Elsa as her husband." 

"...Indeed, sir."

Hans chuckles behind his fist. Up the double staircase they shin, where Frank Sinatra's record can be heard seeping through the floral wallpaper.

"That's strange," Hans says to Kai. "I thought Elsa absolutely despised my Frank Sinatra albums."

Without knocking, Kai opens the mahogany door that had been smothering the music. "She does, but Mrs. Fitzherbert doesn't."

Hans studies him. After having his concerns validated by Kai's frown, the redhead enters with a full measure of comity. The quartz flooring he walks across matches the sheen on his squelching shoes. Nude statues from Ancient Greece guide him to an open parlor fringed by armless women. Around [Venus de Milo's](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wcQqAuTWa-4/R8y8rjg69iI/AAAAAAAAAkw/ZnvQsXIOgOs/s400/Lovre+017.jpg) marble breast peeks a [flat-screen television](http://www.samsungwholesalefromchina.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/samsung-UA110S9-110-inch-tv.jpg), and on the screen are flitting clips of a wedding reception. 

 _"_ _And when two lovers woo, they still say, "I love you,"_ Frank Sinatra sings from the parlor _. "On that you can rely no matter what the future brings, as time goes by._ _Moonlight and love songs never out of date~"_

Hans presses his hand against his stomach as he zeroes in on the snow-blonde head behind the Victorian sofa. He gradually lowers his hand and creeps closer to the sofa's arm, squeezing its oak wrist. "Elsa...?"

The woman on the other end of his dilated pupils does not budge. Blue eyes remain frozen on the screen as wedding footage dances across them. The eggshell-smooth flesh she's skinned in is only covered by a [skintight babydoll](http://heavenlingerie.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/BLUSH-SILK-BABYDOLL.jpg) that ends just below her thighs. Hans looks at the smoke pluming from the cigarette between her fingers, and then hoists an eyebrow at the television. A handsome groom is swaying with his modest bride to the rhythm of Frank Sinatra's,  _"As Time Goes By._ " Their world is lost in the dance and their eyes are lost in each other's.

 _"_ _Woman needs man, and man must have his mate~"_

Hans glances at Elsa, seeing the smirk inch across her mouth. 

"...Rapunzel gets everything, doesn't she?" Elsa's whisper is a falling tear.

"..."

"..."

"Is  _that_  what this is all about? Cousin Glinda finding her Fiyero?" 

"..." Her bust rises out of her sweetheart neckline as she inhales slowly. 

Hans smiles idly at her cleavage before admiring the gloss silk that thinly envelops her body. Her round breasts are entirely bare, save for the strip of guipure embroidery that stretches across her nipples, and even then he can see her areolas. A blush silk robe splays out around her, hanging open unabashedly while she sits with crossed legs and cigarette mountains piled on her coffee table. 

Loosening his tie with both hands, Hans finds a seat beside her and pulls his foot onto his knee. " _Come_ , now," he croons. "What does a half-bald brunette have that you don't?" He's not looking anywhere except her crotch.

"The good life, the good home, the good parents, the smitten friends...an understanding  _husband_  who accepts her as she is. She's like a fucking... _magnet_  for rainbows and...god damn _unicorns_ ," Elsa unloads, sucking the  narcotic out of her cigarette to muzzle her weep as she looks up at the chandelier. Tears glass her eyes, but they don't drip from them. 

" _Elsa_..." Hans's hand slithers down the sofa's headboard until it slides behind Elsa's shoulders. He drags her messy ponytail off her bosom to brush his fingernails up and down her sternum. “Didn’t  _I_  accept you for who  _you_  are?” A press on her dimpled chin changes the trajectory of her attention. “Frozen heart and all?” 

"Hans," Elsa murmurs. 

"Yes?" he purrs.

Elsa peels his hand off her face with a firm toss. "The only frozen _heart_  around here is  _yours_..." 

"..." Hans dryly stares after her as she stands up and walks away, deflating the dimples in the sofa's sunken cushion.

Her robe's silk belt clinches her waist as she ties it into a bow. "So what're you having, Prince Charming?" She pauses in front of a grand piano littered with wine bottles. "Montrachet Grand Cru Cote? Scharzhofberger Riesling? Jayer Richebourg?" 

"You need to stop drinking."

Puuurlll. Gulp. Siiigh. "You need to stop being a colossal cunt." 

" _How_ Shakespearean."

"Hmph." Elsa's voice is muffled by the cigarette between her teeth as she says, "I thought you might like that." 

Glaring, Hans lifts off the sofa and tidies his luscious locks in her [Valais mirror](https://www.curiosityinteriors.co.uk/images/valais-wall-mirror-p2410-29319_medium.jpg). "What time is this Eugene Fitzherbert supposed to be helicoptering you out of my hair, anyway?"

"He's picking me up in an hour."

"Is that what you're meeting him in?"

"Oh, go fuck yourself."

"First impressions are important, Darling. Your cousin doesn't need to know you're a whore."  

**Author's Note:**

> "Something new." I have no business writing this with my laundry list of overdue fics, but just in case I don't finish this one-shot/short story anyway, here's a WIP of what could've been.


End file.
